I lived in St. Louis for seven years and never knew about this?  Someone dropped the ball here.  I blame the C.H.U.D.s.  They're behind everything.

So this is an article on CNN about all the gifts that people at the Oscars receive (as if they don't have enough going for them).  Now in addition to the fact that they call it "Oscar swag," there's a little side-blurb that shows all the things the people get in the gift bag.  They get hum-drum things like a shaving kit, a travel blanket, an espresso machine... and Joe Frazier.  So the hilarity of that is slightly tempered by the fact that it is followed by a parenthetical (a day with the former champ).  But still, that's fairly hilarious in it's own right.

"Ok Joe, what I'm we're gonna do is go to in front of my friends and you're gonna pick a fight and I'm going to kick your ass."

"Fuck you, I'm not doing that."

"Dammit Frazier, I own you!  You came in my gift bag and you're mine for a day!  You got that, champ?"

"...ok..."

"And after that, you're gonna cook me dinner.  Use the George Foreman."

I want a Frazier to call my own!

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In other news, my cat is back today.  He has a shaven belly and a feeding tube sticking out of his neck.  But he's back and I'm happy and $1000 poorer.  I'll post more soon with pictures.

The amount of support for my cat on this blog has been underwhelming, so I'm not sure why I'm posting more information, but he has been tentatively diagnosed with Hepatic Lipidosis and has lost a pound in a week.  Feeding tubes!  Yeah!

ITEM!* Words cannot describe how awesome this will be.  It's frickin' Serge Gainsbourg!

ITEM! Elyse from the first season of America's Next Top Model has a blog.  Now before you freak out, it's actually really good.

ITEM! My cat has diabetes.  That is very unfortunate, and I am concerned.  Fortunately, it was caught really early (thanks in large part to Rock 'n Roll girlfriend Xtina), so right now he doesn't need insulin; we're just changing his food at the moment.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am unnaturally obsessed with my cat, so this came as a shock and I am concerned for him.  I also didn't feel like the vet was very good at answering my questions (such as, how much should I feed him?).  However, I expect to have some more information today, so hopefully I will be able to treat him without insulin and won't have to freak out at the vet.  I'll keep you all updated (even if you don't care).

*Format stolen from Sean Smith

So someone put Cat Power's Living Proof vocals over Matthew Sweet's The Ugly Truth. It works surprisingly well. Listen!

Not that anyone needed any proof, but here's further evidence that Jay Leno not only isn't funny, he's positively unfunny (there is a difference).  This news page has the jokes from different late night shows regarding Tricky Dick Cheney's hunting "accident."  Not only do Letterman's jokes Leno's out of the water, Ferguson's was funnier, too.  Man... can't he just retire already?

So I am on the trial advocacy team at the law school here, which means that there is a tremendous amount of pressure on me because the trial team is one of Temple's major programs (and one of its most well known).  We participate in a number of competitions, but our major competition is the National Trial Competition.  Temple has sent a team out of our region for the past 17 years, and usually we send two teams to nationals (last year was the first time in 6 years we only sent one).  So the pressure was fairly great.  Fortunately, both Temple teams won our final rounds so we will be travelling to Dallas, TX at the end of March.  Dallas sucks, but at least we'll be staying at the Four Seasons.  Exciting.

On another note, I'm afraid my cat may have diabetes.  I'm not sure, but he's been drinking for the past week like he just came back from the desert.  Today wasn't so bad, so I'm keeping an eye on him.

So I was looking at my spam mail, and I saw a message that said informed me: "SHY TO FCUK WITH UR SHORT GUN? L0NGER 3" INSTANTLY out." Amused, I checked the message body itself. I assume that that it was just a random collection of words that was meant to prevent it being sent immediately to my SPAM folder (but GMAIL outsmarted it!), and I felt that I should share the poem with you:

window force wrong back back, how am again happened respect pretty?
principle drew back, purpose sandwich parents shining.
leader how speaking development taught benefit, fascinate news side,
the you sugar you. he drew am whom parents again? love make leader yours young happened.
the servants my evening she.

My favorite line is, "principle drew back, purpose sandwich parents shining"

Honestly? It's as good as some of the MFA students ever wrote when I was in grad school.